Life Lessons on My 40th Birthday: On Confidence and Much More

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Upon turning 40 last month, I reflected on a few important lessons I learned over the years. Oh, and I may have done a birthday boudoir session… 😉

On Confidence

“Any woman can look her best if she feels good in her skin. It’s not a question of clothes or makeup. It’s how she sparkles.” – Sophia Loren

Only a month into my fourth decade of life, and I can already tell you I know I’ll love this chapter more than any other one. That’s because I’m able to say “I’m forty!” with so much pride. I feel so much more confident and prettier now as a 40-year old–and after giving birth to three kids. I know my body will never be the same as it was when I was 20 (heck, even in my 30s) and I’m so perfectly okay with this. Confidence and style go hand in hand, but it’s not about the clothes, it’s about the individual.

For my 40^th I booked a boudoir shoot. It wasn’t for Michael, it was for myself. To celebrate all my imperfections and to channel my inner Beyoce. It’s about being able to say f*ck it and own your body, because you’re only given one body.

I feel so much more beautiful, composed and empowered now than I ever did in my skinny 20’s. At the age of 30, I worked towards and discovered self-love and this was life-changing. I always heard the phrase “forty and fabulous” and now I totally get it–it’s really not just a saying for cheesy birthday sashes!

On Love + Relationships

Love yourself first and foremost. When I was in my 20’s and early 30’s, I was the pleaser and always settled. It led to heartaches and wrong relationships. It wasn’t until I loved myself and learned not to settle that my relationships blossomed with the right men. I would have also told my younger self to live in a shoebox, eat ramen everyday, and travel the world with my money saved. I regret never having lived in other countries.

On Motherhood

As a mother to 3 kids under 5, the best lesson I learned in motherhood is to let the small stuff go. Spilled milk, tantrums in public, skipping naps. With every child, I’ve become more relaxed. Be the opposite of a helicopter parent. (Your other half will likely do that for you.)

On Independence

It’s okay for a married couple to have their own hobbies. For me, I love to travel. I sent myself to NYC earlier in the month as a birthday gift to myself. I go out with my girlfriends a few times a month. I feel like you need that time away to appreciate and miss each other. I depend on him as my husband because I crave his love and affection he equally misses me when we are not together. When he and I go on his work trip to Germany in a few weeks, I plan to take the train to Cologne for the day and skip out on boring business dinners. And of course, I depend on him for being such a hands-on dad.

On Future

I strive to travel more and show more patience. I want my kids to see the world so they don’t live in a tiny bubble. More patience because having three kids CAN test you. I sometimes believe it’s their mission to break you everyday.

A big thank you to everyone for all your birthday wishes last month! Looking forward to sharing my journey into my 40s with you all!